Tuesday, August 30, 2005
I try to say what I really want to but then as I open my mouth nothing but air comes out. Words start to form then I stutter. Maybe I can never say what I really want. I'm too scared.

I was getting paranoid coz of my last post. What I feared came true. She is mad at me..mad at what I did. I know that putting it on my online journal makes it worse because there are A LOT of chances for her to read it. And she did. It was so shockening how I found out that she found out because I forgot what I posted and it took me a while to remember..then I remembered.

You arent sorry.You tell my friend something that is complete wrong and now she's angry with me. When you do absolutely the same thing, obly it isnt a misunderstanding. it's right there. Where EVERYONE can see it. Just so you know, I didnt say You betrayed me. I said I FELT vetrayed. COMPLETELY different thing. Jeez.

That's what she told me. I was wrong. I knew that this'll happen and its my fault. How stupid can I get? very. I know that. I had too much emotions going on inside me that I just had to let it out. And I only had one source. how sad can that get? I relied on on source!! Whatever na. I've done it. I said sorry but then I don't know if she accepted it..or if she will ever accept it. I've been a source of pain and nothing else but that and I accept it.

I'm trying to think happy thoughts. Well, I didn't see E.E today..huwaw..how shockening. The only people I saw were IBE, Ulan, *snip snip*..its really sad.

I feel really bad. I'm getting those vibes again..people are mad at me.

Knowing the truth sucks ass. why does it have to hurt so much?