|
|
||
|
Friday, September 9, 2005
maybe it's psycological..
Last day of exams yestersay...CELEBRATE!! I hate Math.. The TE was ok but it sucked all my brain powers..hahahahahahaha :D what the hell?! hahahaha:D oh well. I went out with Yuki, Michelle, Jani, Michelle and Patz. I was supposed to go out with sila Ina and group but then I considered fatcs and accepted it..so I just went out with sila Yuki. We went to Michelle's house. She has a dog. Trixie!! hahaha:D then we went to the mall. We laft our stuff in True Value..we had to talk to them pa. hahaha :D then we ate in Oliver's and while eating we were people watching. A LOT of AC-nistas. but then..oh well..its rockwell. We debated on what movie to watch..then to watch or not to watch a movie. It ended up as Michelle and Jani lang watching RED EYE. We waited for the time for them to watch and while doing so, we got a pic card..played in Power station and went to stores and try on clothes. Then the time came. They left us. We, the people left went around and around. Then Patz went home na. Then Michelle went home na. Yuki and I went to Seatle's to wait for our sundo..then Yuki went na. I decided to go to Starbucks to forget all the sorrow. I was soo ALONE. SO there.. Then I decided to walk around para I won't be soo bored. And I did walk around. While walking I saw Ina's group..with Boo. Ina and Boo(only) talked to me. I wanted to hang out with them so mcuh but then see, I have issues so I just told them that I was going home na. I lied. I waited for one hour pa in Seatle's. I can't believe them..they didn't mind me!! What am I invisible?! What have I done ba?!?!?!?! Since I was ALone..I started thinking. I was texting Missy and I told her what I rough day I'm having. She said she's gonna call me. I texted Ms. Nympha and told her my issues and what I feel. at some point she said: is it possible that your paranoid? or maybe your the one distancing yourself from them? sometimes we don't notice but we creat situations to spice things up. I didnt really understand it. Am I paranoid?? I can't be!! It's so obvious in their actions that they dont like me!! what the hell?! I don't know nga what I've done. I dont want them to go..or be out of my life but then they are causing me much too much pain and I cant take it anymore!! I went home. Missy called. We talked about that issue. I started breaking down. I just can't beleive it!! Whenever I ask them if they are mad at me they say "no!! stop being paranoid!!!" what the hell??? I just wanna die..I just wanna fade infront of all these problems. I just can't help it but cry because of them. I am so sorry you guys. I don't even think they know its them. I have excluded myself from them and now I have mastered the aret of EPAL-ness. What to master next? Leeching. I wonder when I will forget them. I just wanna fade. fade.. fade
17:18
|
||